Nicotine Dreams and Self Control

One of my buds, Strode (http://straightjacket.afterhourspub.com/), is trying to stop smoking. He is very upset and having a tough time. I wrote him some words of encouragement. Unfortunately, I just read it over and it feels like I’m yelling at him and not give him a Vince Lombardi.

I think the big reason is that I quit on December 30th just before New Years and I don’ think I want to quit. I LOVE SMOKING. It tastes good. It passes the time. The drug circulates in my body and I just feel better.

I remember an episode of the West Wing where the Chief of Staff, who is an alcoholic, is asked about his addiction. The monologue explanation of addiction afterward was right on! To paraphrase, the guy would look at that drink and know it was addictive and bad and harmful overall. Then he would ask who in their right mind would not enjoy that delicious drink? Who would waste their time and not take advantage of the pleasure that drink provides? The whole idea of depriving oneself of something so wonderful was laughable. Then he'd slam the drink.

I feel the same way about cigarettes. But I did not quit them because I wanted to. I quit smoking because I have to.

I have babies I want to see grow up. They depend on me to be there for them. Dying young for me is ruthlessly cruel to them and very self-centered.

I have a wife who intends to spend the rest of her life with me. When we get older and can start traveling and enjoying the limited wealth we’ve saved, does she deserve a husband she has to wheel around with an oxygen tube? Does she deserve to watch her husband decay and die with cancer, heart disease? It would be just as selfish as suicide except I would drag my death out and torture her more.

I have goals I want to achieve. I would love to continue my education (sure, as a hobby really) and some day become a doctor of philosophy. I would love to start a second career once I retire from this one and be a teacher. Will I see retirement age with a cigarette jammed in my mouth every 45 minutes?

I have come to the conclusion that addiction is for the near sighted and selfish. They care more for personal pleasure and care less about their loved ones. I don’t mean this of people who have not sat down and critically worked out the drive to smoke. They are not evil. They just haven’t drawn the same conclusion, yet. If I think this way, I guess I guilt myself into saving my own life. So be it.

So, I note that since December 30th I have stopped smoking. I still want to smoke, but I can’t. I want one right now, but I won’t. How do I stop this?


I think of my babies. I think of Roxane. The rest is easy.